Fandom: Infinity Train
Relationships: Ryan Akagi and Jesse Cosay, Jesse Cosay and Nate Cosay, Jesse Cosay and Lake Olsen
Characters Featured: Ryan Akagi, Jesse Cosay, Lake Cosay, Nate Cosay, Troy Banks, Jesse's Friends
Summary: Jesse wants a new start in high school, so he joins the track team with Lake. He meets someone that makes him realize some things about the company he keeps.
Notes: This is my contribution to the Infinity Train Big Bang event of 2024! This is a fic that is part of my AU known as Train Chasers! If you want to know what happens next to Jesse and Ryan, check it out!
Also, here is my partner Jackie's art piece to accompany this fic! (Click to enlarge the image!)
The sunlight was gentle and comforting on his skin as Jesse hopped off the bus in front of his house. Of course, he found Lake sitting at his doorstep with his little brother Nate when he returned. His bags were on the ground and his arms were wrapped tight around Lake’s body before they could properly stand up to greet him.
“I take it you had fun at camp?” Lake asked with a laugh as Jesse lifted them in the air.
“It was awesome!” he said, placing them down gently. “I almost didn’t want to come back. But I would’ve missed you more.”
He reached out and ruffled Nate’s hair as the little boy hugged him.
“Did ya bring something cool back like you said?” Nate asked, pulling away gently. Jesse broke out into a grin and rooted around in his suitcase before pulling out a few bracelets. Each bracelet had different colored stones attached to the strings. He handed one to Lake before kneeling down to hand one to Nate. His little brother’s eyes sparkled with wonder as he gazed at the bracelet on his wrist.
“I’ve been obsessed with making these for weeks. It’s practically all I did whenever it was time for arts and crafts” Jesse placed one bracelet on his own wrist. “I could show you guys how to make ‘em, if you want.”
“I want to make some!” Nate hopped up and down excitedly. Lake smirked, taking a look at the bracelet as it glistened in the sunlight on their wrist.
“I’m good, thanks. These look cool, though. You’ve got an eye for rocks.”
Jesse led the three of them inside the house, where his father was in the kitchen fixing lunch. His eyes lit up upon spotting his sons and their friend. He gave Jesse a gentle squeeze of the shoulder before letting him and the others swarm the table.
“You’re just in time for lunch,” Mr. Cosay said, placing a plate of sandwiches on the table. “Help yourselves, kids.”
The three of them scrambled to the kitchen table to grab some food. As they ate, Jesse caught Lake and Nate up on his many adventures at camp that summer.
“So, you kids excited for school next week? Starting high school’s gotta be exciting for you two,” Mr. Cosay said to the two teenagers.
“I’ve already got my schedule in the mail,” Lake said. “Yours came in too. We wanted to wait until you came home.”
“I hope we’re in most of the same classes,” Jesse said as his father walked into the dining room to retrieve the mail.
Mr. Cosay placed a letter with the school’s logo on the table for Jesse to read. Shivering with anticipation, he opened the letter and took a look at his schedule. Lake looked over his shoulder with a critical eye.
“We’ve got French, Geometry, study hall, and a lunch period together,” Lake reported, glancing at the paper.
“Better than having completely different schedules,” Jesse said. “You have any classes with Tulip?”
Almost instantly, Lake’s face contorted into a strange expression. They shrugged, their eyes lazily cast over their half eaten sandwich.
“We’ve got French, gym and English together,” they mumbled. Jesse looked on with concern.
“You don’t sound too pleased about that,” Jesse said quietly, placing a hand on their shoulder. “You…alright?”
Lake blinked and shrugged once more. “Nothing to worry about. I’m just glad we’ve got classes together so it won’t be completely boring at school.”
Jesse knew things had gotten tense between Lake and their twin sister, but decided not to push them on the matter. He turned his attention to Nate.
“And how about you, Nate? You excited about starting middle school?” He asked the little boy. Nate grinned, fidgeting with his bracelet.
“Are we gonna go shopping for school stuff this week?” He asked excitedly.
“You can go with Jesse tomorrow. Right now I think he’s kind of tired from traveling,” Mr. Cosay said with a chuckle. “Lake, you’re welcome to stay for dinner if you’d like. But I don’t think you need me to tell you that.”
Lake mustered up a small grin and finished their sandwich.
“Thanks, Mr.Cosay.”
The following day, Nate linked his hands between Jesse and Lake’s as they walked to the mall. He swung their arms together with a smile.
“Let’s go get some supplies,” Jesse said. “I love the smell of new notebooks and pencils.”
While the three of them looked through a nearby store, Nate ran off to find new backpacks. Lake turned to Jesse.
“You still gonna go for swimming in high school?” They asked curiously. “Maybe they’ll let you do something other than the butterfly.”
“Well, I was kinda thinking of doing something new,” Jesse admitted. Doing the butterfly was fun and all, but it was all they ever let him do. He’d missed out on quite a few state meets because they never needed someone who could do the butterfly. Lake couldn’t swim, but they showed up to every one of Jesse’s events to cheer him on, no matter what.
“Well, what’s on your mind? Maybe we could do something together this time around.”
“We’ll see what they’re offering when school starts.”
Nate returned with an armful of notebooks, pencils, and a pencil case. Jesse pulled out his wallet and paid for himself and his brother. Lake only bought a single notebook and a bag. They started towards the plaza for something to eat.
Jesse was about to take a bite out of his pizza when a pair of large hands clasped onto his shoulders and pulled him backwards. He looked up into the eyes of an older teenager with the beginnings of a mustache lining his square face.
“Hey, Jesse,” he said, surrounded by a group of other boys. “Thought you’d forgotten about us. Where’ve you been?”
The boys took their seats at the table, wedging themselves between Jesse and his friends. Lake scowled as they were pushed aside by another boy.
“Hey, Troy. Hey guys,” Jesse said with a smile and a gentle wave. “Just got back from camp.”
“I bet you were so bored there,” Troy chuckled, leaning onto Jesse. “They probably made you do stuff like arts and crafts and singing songs at a campfire.”
“Jesse made these rock bracelets at camp!” Nate piped up. “They’re really cool!”
Nate held up his wrist, allowing the boys to see the bracelet his older brother made for him. The look Troy shot at Nate gave Jesse a sense of apprehension and unease. But before he could jump in, Troy smiled and threw an arm around him.
“Did he, now?” Troy asked, craning his neck to look at Jesse. “That’s uh, that’s pretty interesting. I didn’t think you’d be into that kind of stuff, Jesse.”
He lightly punched Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse chuckled nervously, meeting Troy’s stare. “Well, yknow, just wanted to try new things. I could show you guys how to make some if you want.”
Troy shared a grin with one of the other boys at the table, like that of a shark right before it went in for the kill.
“Well I’ll be damned. Our boy Jesse here’s trying new things!”
The boys clapped and cheered appreciatively, but Jesse still couldn’t shake that odd feeling in his chest.
Eventually the boys left, laughing boisterously as they went. Lake huffed and moved back closer to Jesse.
“You still hang out with those guys?” Lake asked, glaring in their direction.
“They’re my friends,” Jesse said, a hint of defensiveness rising in his tone.
“Well, your friends suck. They were making fun of you.”
“No they weren’t. That kind of stuff just isn’t Troy’s thing.”
“...Who cares if it’s not his thing?”
Jesse fell silent for a beat. He then continued to eat in silence until they got ready to leave.
Jesse fell into step with Lake as they approached their new high school together. He followed Lake’s eyes to find Tulip running up ahead to meet up with another girl.Their expression became unreadable as they fidgeted with the tie on their uniform.
“Hey,” he nudged them. “We’ve got about 30 minutes before our classes, wanna look around for a bit?”
This appeared to snap them out of their funk.
“Yeah, let’s get a feel for this place before everyone else starts swarming in.”
After swiping his ID card to get through the main door, Jesse led Lake through the hallways. He dragged his hand along the freshly waxed lockers, gawking at the shiny new posters being hung up against the walls. The two of them peeked into the many classrooms as they tried to gauge the ideal seating position for their classes.
“Lake, look!” He linked their arm in his and pulled them inside one particular classroom.
On the board, “Welcome to Mr. Sanchez’s Environmental Science Class” was written in blue marker with various animals and plants drawn around the words. In the corner near the teacher’s desk sat a cage with a small green turtle crawling about. Jesse scrambled over to get a closer look at the animal.
“Woah, your class has a pet?” Lake said, their eyes wide with wonder. “Last time I saw an animal in the classroom was the class hamster from kindergarten.”
Jesse gently tapped on the glass to get the turtle’s attention. The turtle lazily glanced in his direction, chewing on a leaf.
“Says here her name is Daisy.” Jesse picked up the name card off of the table. “She’s 3 years old. Aww, she’s just a baby!”
The two spent the next five minutes fooling around with the turtle until they were interrupted by heeled footsteps entering the classroom. They whirled around and faced an older girl with a stack of papers in her arms.
“You two are here early,” she commented, placing the stack of papers on a nearby desk. “That’s great. Nice to see proactive students getting a head start on their education.
Jesse’s shoulders sagged in relief when he realized the two of them were not in any trouble.
“We’re just trying to get a feel for the classrooms before our classes officially start. We’re freshmen.” Jesse explained. “Are there any other classrooms that have cool animals like this one?”
The girl smiled and shook her head. “Mr. Sanchez’s classroom is one of a kind in that regard, I'm afraid. I would know, I was in his class last year. Now I’ve got him again for AP Environmental Science. I’m Grace, by the way.”
She reached out a hand to Jesse and Lake. Jesse took her hand eagerly and shook it.
“I’m Jesse and this is my best friend, Lake,” Jesse said. Lake gave Grace a silent nod. Grace turned and pulled out a few sheets of paper from her pile.
“Since you’re already here, I might as well give you these,” she said, handing each of them a flyer. “I’m running for re-election as student body president. I’m not gonna regurgitate everything on the flyers, but I’ve got big things planned for this school. I hope I can count on your vote.”
“Sure thing!” Jesse said. “You’ve got my vote for sure.”
“I’ll think about it, dude,” Lake answered, barely looking through the flyer.
“Awesome. Thanks, guys!” Grace picked up the remaining pile of papers and strolled out of the classroom.
Once she was out of sight, Lake shoved the flyer into their backpack.
“She seems nice,” Jesse said, still looking at the flyer. “I know who I’m voting for in this election.”
“Already?” Lake asked.
“Why not?”
“Shouldn’t we check out the other candidates before we make a decision for who to vote for? She doesn’t just get my vote just because she said so.”
“Look at all the cool stuff she’s planning!” Jesse pushed his own flyer towards them, to which Lake rolled their eyes.
“Let’s go check out some more classrooms,” they said after a pause, leading Jesse out of the classroom.
The duo saw Grace again on a Friday afternoon, once more handing out flyers. This time she was accompanied by a blond teen assisting her.
“Welcome to Club Night!” She said to a girl with dark curly hair. “Hope you find something you like here!”
Grace locked eyes with Jesse and lit up. She sauntered her way over to them with a map.
“Hi, Grace!” Jesse greeted her.
“Hey, welcome to Club Night, you two,” she said. “How was your first week of school?”
“It was awesome. Mr. Sanchez let us all pet Daisy at the end of the first class. He’s really cool.”
“A fight broke out during study hall so that was cool,” Lake said. Jesse barely caught onto Grace’s smile dimming a little after Lake said that.
“So…what kind of clubs do you guys have here at this school?” Jesse cut in.
“It’s all on the map,” Grace answered, her winning smile returning in full force. The blond boy walked up to the group, handing his stack of papers to her.
“Grace, I’ve gotta head to my club meeting. I don’t trust the freshman players alone with my equipment.”
“Alright, I’ll take it from here. Bye, Simon,” Grace said sweetly before turning back to Lake and Jesse.
“What club does he run?” Jesse asked.
“Dungeons and Dragons,” Grace answered. “He says that this year, the sessions are based off of the second book of his fantasy novel series that he’s been writing, called The Esmoroth Trilogy.”
“That sounds so cool!” Jesse said.
“Don’t tell Simon I said this, but I’m still stuck on the foreword of the first book,” Grace whispered, leaning in slightly. “Of course, I wrote the foreword, and it’s awesome.”
“Maybe we’ll check it out someday if it gets published,” Jesse said.
“I’m sure he’d be super happy to hear that,” Grace said before walking back towards the middle of the hallway. Jesse and Lake looked at the map once more.
“Looks like they do have swimming here,” Lake commented, glancing at Jesse.
“You know, you could try out with me this time?” Jesse offered. Lake grimaced and shook their head.
“I’d rather not,” they said. “Hey, the theater is up ahead. Let’s check it out.”
The two found themselves in the school theater.
“Everyone has a part to play at the theater,” A girl with long braided hair said with a flourish. “Whether it’s on the stage or behind the scenes, everyone is welcome to join! Any volunteers want to try out the stage?”
Immediately, Jesse shot up with his hand in the air.
“I’ve got a song!” He announced eagerly.
“Well, come on up. What’s your name?”
“Jesse!”
“Well, Jesse, what are you gonna perform for us?”
“It’s a song I learned in elementary school,” he said with a bright smile. He took the microphone from the girl and started to sing.
The song was short and sweet. Jesse took a dramatic bow shortly after. There was a smattering of applause and a bit of giggling as Jesse took his seat. He and Lake sat through a few more performances before deciding to check out another club.
Students with all sorts of gadgets and tools were bustling about in the next classroom the duo entered. A student with wild black hair and goggles strapped to their face approached them.
“Hey, my name is Kara and I’m the president of the Science Club! ”
“What do you guys do here?” Jesse asked
“By day, this is a regular classroom,” Kara said mysteriously. “By night, it becomes my laboratory!”
She punctuates her statement with a laugh reminiscent of a mad scientist. Someone in the back of the classroom flicked the lights off and on for effect.
“So do you guys like, conduct experiments here?” Lake asked. “Is there another Frankenstien in here we should be worried about?”
“Not yet,” Kara said with a wink. “We’re still working on that. But in the meantime we have a bunch of stuff you can do. We’ve got the robotics lab in the corner over there, where we’re trying to make a bipedal robot. There’s a chemistry lab over there (making god knows what)...”
Kara proceeded to walk Lake and Jesse through the club’s various projects. She even let them try some things out themselves.
She brought them over to a corner in the classroom, where a kit and various kitchen supplies lay on the desks.
“Are we gonna make something explode?” Lake asked, their eyes open with excitement.
“Nah, the principal threatened to shut us down if we blew something up again,” Kara said, sounding disappointed. “What we’re doing here is almost as cool, though. We’re making ice cream.”
“Isn’t…that just what the cooking club does? Make food?”
“Yes,” Kara answered with a smirk. “But we get into the scientific process of making ice cream.”
Kara began to ramble about freezing points and how salt is used to make ice cream. Jesse hung onto her every word. Then she let them start the experiment.
“Is this enough ice?” Jesse asked, eyeing the amount of ice cubes he poured into the styrofoam cup.
“Yep!” Kara answered. “Now Lake, you’re gonna cover the ice with like… a half inch of salt.”
After Lake finished pouring the salt into the cup, Kara took out a thermometer and took the temperature of the mixture. She pulled away with a grin.
“This… doesn’t look like ice cream,” Lake pointed out.
“Not yet, but we’re at a good start,” Kara said. “Because we’ve put salt into the ice, we’ve lowered the freezing point of water. Now here’s the fun part where we get to make some delicious ice cream! Follow the directions on the paper on the desk and I’ll be back in a few minutes to check on your progress.”
She handed each of them one plastic bag and a smaller plastic bag and gestured to the food supplies on the desk before leaving for the group dealing with robotics in another corner of the classroom.
Lake and Jesse carefully followed the instructions, placing the proper ingredients in the bags, placing one bag inside the other and shaking the bags furiously for a few minutes. Kara came back a while later.
“How’d we do?” Lake asked, peeking at the bags. Kara leaned in to inspect their progress.
“I’d say we’ve got a couple of expert ice cream makers on our hands!” she said, clasping them both on the back. “Enjoy yourselves some ice cream, and feel free to look around some more when you’re done.”
After the science club’s tour, Lake and Jesse wandered aimlessly through the halls. They peeped into the rooms of several other clubs they spared a passing interest in. Unfortunately, as the afternoon went on, it seemed that they could not find a club that both of them wanted to join together.
“What a waste,” Lake mumbled. “Club night’s almost over and we still haven’t figured out what we’re gonna do.”
“We could try the photography club again,” Jesse suggested.
“They’re not even a real club,” Lake scoffed. “They just sit around reading comics and eating snacks.”
“That sounds kind of fun, though.”
Before Lake could retort, they heard a ruckus coming from the gym. Jesse went in first, peeking through the door.
A group of students sat on the bleachers cheering as a few others raced each other around the gym. One particular student, a boy with wavy brown hair and red glasses, led the pack in the race. He was the first to cross the finish line, and pumped his fist in the air once he stopped.
“Huh. They have a track team here,” Lake commented, following Jesse as they made their way through the crowd. It seemed to grow as it started to surround the brown haired runner.
“Hey, are we too late?” Jesse asked, raising his hand. The runner looked up and grinned at them.
“Almost. But hey, I was late to tryouts when I was a sophomore here,” he said, moving through the crowd to greet them. “Name’s Ryan. I’m the team captain.”
“Jesse.” The younger boy reached a hand out. “That’s my friend Lake.”
“You guys ever run track before?” Ryan asked, pushing his glasses up.
“Well, Lake goes on runs with me to help me get conditioned for swim practice,” Jesse answered. “So… kinda?”
“That’s still good. Running is awesome. Of course, there’s other things besides running you can do here if you’re interested in,” Ryan offered.
“We’ll stick with running for now,” Jesse said. “So, what do we have to do?”
“Well, first we’ve gotta get you guys warmed up.” Ryan sent off the other teammates to run laps and do other exercises before sending Lake and Jesse off to change out of their school uniforms. They were very fortunate to have had gym class today.
Ryan led them through various warm up routines for about 10 minutes before making his way towards the end of the gym.
“You guys are new, so I’m gonna go easy on you.”
For the next 20 minutes, Ryan ran through various drills and tests. First, Ryan demonstrated what the two of them needed to do before he let them try the exercise on their own. Ryan looked on with approval as the two of them made it through each and every trial.
“So how’d we do?” Lake asked, out of breath.
“Well, I’d say you—-” Ryan gestured to Jesse. “-- would best fit the 100 and 200 meter dash. Maybe you’ll get put in the 4 by 4 relay.”
“Awesome,” Jesse said, holding his hands to his chest.
“And you,” he said to Lake. “You’d be great for the 400 and 800 meter runs.”
“Cool,” Lake said.
“Alright, practice runs from 4 pm to 7pm on Monday through Thursday,” Ryan said. “Don’t worry about uniforms for now, everyone gets them before the first meet.”
“So…we made the team?” Jesse asked excitedly. Ryan nodded.
“Well, yeah! Maybe if you’re lucky, coach’ll have you guys in the first meet of the year. I’ll put in a good word for ya,” he said with a wink. “That is, if you two still want to join the team.”
Lake and Jesse glanced at each other, their expressions saying the same thing.
“Are you kidding? We’d love to join!”
“You’re gonna do great, Jess,” Ryan said, placing his hands on Jesse’s shoulders.
“Thanks,” Jesse replied, his face heating up a little.
Ryan went back to the other track teammates, leaving Jesse and Lake to digest the news. Jesse stood there wordlessly for a moment, watching Ryan stroll off.
After a few weeks of practice under Ryan’s guidance, Lake and Jesse were on the bus heading towards their first meet. Their teammates fooled around so much that the coach had to stand up to get them to quiet down so the bus driver wouldn’t kick them off in the middle of nowhere.
The two of them sat together in the back, but Jesse was unable to relax like the rest of their team. He uneasily bounced his legs up and down, nervously looking out the window.
Lake leaned back in their seat, listening to music with their eyes closed. Jesse pressed himself against the window as he watched the other cars on the highway go by. He felt a hand gently clasp his shoulder and jumped. He turned to find Ryan looking back at him with a soft smile.
“You excited for your first meet?” he asked.
“Yeah, I guess,” Jesse said with a chuckle.
“Don’t worry if you don’t end up winning, by the way,” Ryan said. “At my first meet, I didn’t register that the gun had gone off.By the time I started, the other competitors were wayyyy in the lead. I at least got 2nd place.”
“You caught up?”
“Yeah, plus two of the runners tripped halfway through the run,” Ryan said with a snort. “So it was one happy accident I guess?”
“Yeah, for you,” Jesse laughed. “Thanks for that…it really helped.”
“Akagi!” The coach yelled out from the front of the bus. “Sit down and stop pestering the freshmen!”
"Alright, coach. I'm going," he said, before turning back to Jesse. "I better head back to my seat. You're gonna do great out there, got it?"
Ryan left Jesse, who continued to sit at the window with a stirring in his heart.
At the meet, the team decided to do some stretches and then run a few laps on the track to warm up. Lake and Jesse ran at the same pace to keep up with each other. Ryan, being a tryhard, passed both of them multiple times. The coach yelled out for him to take it easy before the meet actually started.
Jesse and Lake sat near the front on the bleachers as the first event started. Their teammates gathered around watching Ryan at the start of the track. He looked towards the bleachers and stuck his tongue out, to the amusement of the other teammates. The coach yelled at him to focus on the track.
“Go Ryan!” went some of his teammates. Jesse noticed that even students who were not on the track team had come to see Ryan perform.
“Ryan sure has a lot of fans…” Jesse mumbled to himself as the gun went off. Ryan shot off onto the track, leaving the other players in the dust. The bleachers exploded with cheering and yelling as Ryan blazed past them. The way he effortlessly ran was hypnotizing, and Jesse found it difficult to keep his gaze away from him. With a final burst of speed, he crossed the finish line before the other competitors.
He jogged back to the bleachers, where his other teammates swarmed him. There were too many of them for Jesse to properly see Ryan in the crowd. The coach had to come over and get the group to disperse and send the next runners out on the track for another event. To Jesse’s surprise, Ryan came over to where he and Lake were sitting and took a seat next to them.
“You freaking annihilated those other guys,” Lake commented. Ryan gave them a lazy grin.
“Thanks. I’ve been meaning to beat that one guy from Alexander Academy since last season. And now I can finally say I’ve kicked his ass. You guys excited for your events today?”
“Yep,” Jesse said with an air of confidence. “I’m gonna knock their socks off.”
This elicited a laugh from Ryan, sending a slight jolt through Jesse’s body.
“I’m sure you guys will do great out there. Just remember it’s not the end of the world if you don’t get first place. Especially since you guys are pretty new to this whole scene.”
“Looks like the next race is starting soon,” Lake pointed out as the next group of competitors started to line up on the track.
As the meet continued, however, Jesse couldn't shake the feeling of impending nervousness with his event coming up. Jesse's attention was divided between watching the events and stealing glances at Ryan. He cheered on his teammates as they competed, but his mind kept wandering back to how effortlessly Ryan cleared his race. He wondered if he’d be able to keep up. Despite his best efforts, he found himself fidgeting nervously as he watched Ryan take some notes and give some pointers to his teammates.
Jesse's heart leapt in his chest as he saw Ryan approaching him. He felt his palms grow sweaty and his mind go blank.
"Hey, Ryan." He said, his voice a little too cheerful.
“Hey, kiddo, it’s time for your event. Let’s get you on the track.”
"Yeah, sure." He said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Let's do this."
“I like that attitude, let’s go,” Ryan said, leading him off of the bleachers.
As they made their way to the track, he stole glances at Ryan, taking in the older boy's confident stride and charming smile.
As they reached the track, Ryan gave Jesse a reassuring pat on the back.
“Welp, here we are,” Jesse said.
"You got this, Jess." He said with a smile. "Just do as you practiced and you'll do great."
"Yeah, I got it." Jesse said, trying to sound confident. "I'll do my best."
Ryan chuckled, seemingly noticing how nervous Jesse seemed.
"Just relax, Jesse," he said, his tone teasing and his eyes sparkling with amusement. "Just remember what I said about what happened at my first meet. Just try to leave as soon as you hear the gun go off. Like don’t even think about it. Got it?”
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.
"Yeah, okay. I'll relax." He said. "I'll show everyone what I got."
Ryan nodded, a proud smile on his face.
"That's the spirit." He said. "Now go out there and show 'em what you're made of."
Jesse took another deep breath and nodded.
"Right. I got this." He said. He took off his jacket, revealing the blue and gold tank top he was wearing underneath, and handed it to Ryan.
He took his place at the starting line, feeling the adrenaline pumping through his veins. He glanced over at the bleachers, where he could see Lake giving him a thumbs up. He smiled and waved before focusing back on the track.
The ref called out, "On your mark!" and Jesse crouched down into position.
The starting pistol went off and Jesse lunged forward, his heart racing and his blood pumping. He kept up a strong pace, his body moving in perfect rhythm. He glanced up at the bleachers, where he could see Lake and some of his other friends cheering him on. But he quickly looked away, spotting Ryan leaning against a pole, watching intently. He felt a strange mixture of nerves and excitement, knowing that Ryan was watching him run.
He could see the finish line in sight, and he pushed himself to go faster. He could feel his muscles burning and his lungs screaming for air, but he kept going. He crossed the finish line and collapsed onto the track, gasping for breath. He had given it his all and came in first place.
He lay there for a moment, his heart racing and his body shaking. Then he heard footsteps approaching and felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Ryan standing over him, a proud smile on his face. Lake stood nearby with a smirk on their face.
"Way to go, kiddo." Ryan said, grinning down at him. "That was some impressive running. You were flying out there."
"Thanks," he said, his voice a bit breathless. "I was really nervous, but I gave it my all."
“I bet I could get a faster time than you,” Lake teased, helping Jesse up.
“We’ll see,” Jesse chuckled as they made their way back to the bench.
Hours later, the track meet came to an end. The coach came around handing out shiny medals to the students who’d earned them. Ryan sported quite a few gold and silver medals. The coach ushered the kids onto the bus, where they drove back to the school so they could go home. Coming down from the adrenaline high of the days events, Jesse slept through the entire bus ride with his head on Lake’s shoulder
Before he knew it, he was being jolted awake and he found himself looking at the front of the school. He stumbled off of the bus, still trying to orient himself. Lake went home with their mother. They offered him a ride, but Jesse insisted his parents would come for him.
Unfortunately, 10 minutes after Lake had gone home, he got an apologetic text from his mother.
“Mom’s stuck at work and Dad’s taking Nate to the doctor,” Jesse groaned, leaning back on the stairs. “Guess I’m gonna have to walk home. Man, my legs are too tired to walk.”
He lay back on the stairs, contemplating what he would do next. A red and orange van pulled up in front of him. The windows rolled down, revealing Ryan at the wheel.
“You got a ride home?” He asked. “I’ve got a seat right here if you don’t mind a few papers lying around.”
He opened the side door of the van and got into the passenger seat, looking around and seeing the papers around.
“What’s all these papers for?” He asked curiously.
“Just some stuff I've been writing," Ryan explained.He began sorting through the papers as he answered. One paper flew out of his arms into Jesse's lap.
Jesse examined the paper curiously. It was written in Ryan's handwriting. He noticed that it had lyrics written on it.
“Hey, you make music?" Jesse asked.
“Ha, yeah. It’s like, super easy once you get it to rhyme.”
Upon further inspection, Jesse realized that Ryan was writing a love song.
“Who’s this song for?” he asked.
“Someone special,” he said vaguely.
“Come on, who is it?” He leaned over, grinning mischievously. Ryan laughed and pushed his head back.
“Look at you being all nosy today,” Ryan teased. “Let’s get you home.”
Jesse couldn't help but notice the mall as they drove past it. He looked out the window, taking in the sight of the bustling shoppers in the parking lot.
“Hey,” he said quietly. “Mind if we stop to grab a bite to eat?”
Ryan looked at Jesse briefly and smiled.
"Sure, I don't see why not."
He turned his signal on and carefully changed lanes to take the next exit that led to the parking lot of the mall.
“Awesome,” Jesse said. “Haven't eaten anything since that hot dog and ice tea at noon.”
They got out of the van and headed toward the food court, passing by various shops and eateries along the way.
"Hm, I could go for some pizza right about now. How does that sound?" Ryan suggested
“Sounds awesome.”
The two made their way to a pizzeria in the mall and ordered a half cheese and half pepperoni pizza. They sat at a nearby bench while they waited for their food.
They sat in companionable silence at first, watching people walking by. But Jesse, being the sociable person he was, couldn't help but break the quiet. He gave Ryan a knowing grin.
“What?” The older boy asked.
“So, why’d you join the track team?” he asked. Ryan smirked and rested one leg on the bench.
“Guidance counselor suggested it,” he answered.
“Really?”
"Apparently I was showing a lot of ‘pent up energy’, so they thought it would be a good idea for me to join something 'more productive' so I could ‘let some steam off’ and stay out of trouble," Ryan explained with a grin. “Whatever that means.”
“Well it ended up well for you huh?” Jesse said. “You're like the top player here.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty awesome. It’s not something I see myself doing for the rest of my life, though.”
“Really? I figured you’d end up going to the Olympics in the future.”
“Yeah, right,” Ryan snorted. “Music is where it’s at for me.”
Jesse's gaze shifted to the counter where the worker was placing their pizza box down.
"Ooh, it's ready!" he exclaimed, standing up. "Let's go get it."
They approached the counter and picked up the pizza box. As they walked back to their bench, Jesse opened the box and grabbed a slice, the cheese stretching as he lifted it.
"Mmmm... this is just like the pizza in the Goofy movies." Jesse commented.
Ryan chuckled heartily, amused by Jesse's comparison.
"Goofy movies, huh? Can't deny, this pizza does have that cheesy, cartoony appeal," Ryan said. “So…I’ve talked a lot about myself. I want to know about you. Why’d you join the track team? Are you trying to impress a girl or something?”
The question took Jesse off guard, and he blushed.
“Um, yeah! My…my girlfriend Martha,” Jesse blurted out before he could stop himself.
Ryan raised an eyebrow, and for a moment Jesse thought he had been caught.
“Girlfriend, eh? Does she go here?”
“No… she goes to a school out of town...She goes to Valley Academy down the road. She's a cheerleader. ”
"Ah, so you're dating a cheerleader, huh? That's like, every teenage boy's dream." He teased. Jesse blushed as he thought about his supposed girlfriend.
"Well...yeah, she's pretty cute. And she's nice, she laughs at my jokes, and, um, we like similar things..."
Ryan chuckled at Jesse's shyness.
"And how'd you two meet? Was it some grand romantic moment or what?"
Jesse thought for a moment, trying to come up with a believable story.
“Uh, yeah, something like that… She came up to me in the library and asked me to help her study. We started talking, and I guess we just clicked. I asked her out on a date and the rest is history,” he said with a shrug.
Jesse was sure Ryan could see right through his lies, but Ryan did not comment on the matter any further. They ate quietly and walked back to the van.
As they settled into their seats, Jesse felt a pang of guilt. He knew he lied to Ryan about Martha, and it didn’t sit right with him. He pushed those feelings down and looked out of the window for the rest of the trip.
Jesse held his hands up high, trying to catch the ball that Nate and Lake threw back and forth.
“You’d think with you being the tallest you’d have an easier time catching the ball,” Lake teased, throwing the ball over Jesse’s head back to Nate.”
“I’m just going easy on you two,” Jesse said triumphantly. “Wouldn’t be much fun if you guys could never get the ball to each other.”
“Or maybe you’re just bad at this game,” Nate said, tossing the ball back to Lake.
“Or maybe… you guys are secretly cheating to win!” Jesse ran over to Nate and ruffled his hair. Nate squealed and started squirming away from Jesse.
The three of them laughed and continued playing as the orange and gold leaves fell to the ground around them. After a while, they all laid back on the blanket Lake brought with them, enjoying the autumn breeze. Jesse decided to close his eyes for a bit and bask in the comforting sunlight. Unfortunately, not too long after he’d gotten comfortable, he felt a shadow loom over his face.
He opened his eyes to find Troy standing over him.
“Oh, hey Troy!” Jesse yelped and nearly jolted upwards. He tilted his head slightly to the side to better look up at the boy.
“Jesse!” Troy clasped a hand on Jesse’s back. “You’ve been avoiding us, man?”
“What? No way,” Jesse said, taken aback by the accusation. “I’ve just been busy with school and track.”
“Track got ya thinking you’re too good for us, now?” Troy asked, sitting on the blanket next to him and throwing an arm around his shoulder.
“No, of course not,” Jesse answered. His mouth went dry.
“Well, it just seems that you’ve been ditching us to hang out with your baby brother and…” his eyes cut over to Lake, who glared back at him.
“Go on,” Lake challenged, sitting up.
Jesse immediately picked up on the tension. He looked between his two friends.
"Alright, both of you relax," he spoke up, trying to get in between the two of them.
“I’m just saying, Jesse,” Troy continued, sizing Lake up with an equally venomous glare. “You spend an awful lot of time with them.”
“Well, they’re just as much my friends as you guys are,” Jesse said weakly. “But I’m sorry I haven’t been making enough time for you guys as well.”
Troy’s face seemed to soften for just a second before he smirked again. “We’re just teasing you, dude. We’re not mad at ya or anything.”
A wave of relief washed over Jesse. “O-Oh! Oh good. I thought for a second I had like…done something wrong.”
Troy let out a laugh, “I swear you take us too seriously sometimes, Jesse.” He said with a grin. “But anyways, since you’re not busy now, let's go do something fun.”
“Only if Nate and Lake get to come along too,” Jesse said suddenly.
There was a pause. And then Troy let out a little huff.
“Ugh, fine. They can come.” He rolled his eyes before looking over at the two.
Nate and Lake exchanged a glance before looking back at the two boys.
“So what are we doing?” Nate spoke up with a questioning tone.
“You’ll see, little guy,” Troy said cryptically. “It’s a surprise. But trust me. You’re gonna love it.”
Troy led the group up a steep hill. Troy’s other friends and (strangely) a metal file cabinet on wheels were waiting for them at the top. Jesse and Nate shared a look of confusion.
“What’s this thing doing all the way up here?” Nate asked.
“It’s for a game,” Troy answered. “You’ve gotta ride this thing all the way downhill without falling off before you stop. It’s a rite of passage to becoming a man.”
“What does have to do with—”
Troy cut Lake off with a hand before they could finish their question. He turned to the rest of his friends.
“Who’s going first?” He asked. One of the boys stepped forward to sit on top of the file cabinet.
Troy pushed the boy down the hill. He managed to hold on until the cabinet came to a stop at the bottom. He got up and raised his hands in victory. The other boys up top erupted into cheers.
“Go Cody!” The boys cheered as the file cabinet was rolled back to the top of the hill.
“And that, my friends, is how ya do it!” Troy said with a wide grin. “Who’s next?”
“I’ll pass,” Lake grumbled, turning back to go down the hill.
Troy looked like he was fixing to say something to Lake, but shook his head with a scoff. Nate looked between Lake’s rapidly disappearing figure and the remaining boys on the hill.
Jesse’s eyes watched as Lake made their way down the hill. Then he turned to Troy. “I’ll go next.” He said with a determined look on his face.
Troy’s smirk returned upon hearing Jesse’s words. “Alright then, go ahead.” He said, gesturing to the file cabinet.
Jesse made his way over to the cabinet and sat uneasily on top. He looked down the steep hill from his seat, staring at the rock on the bottom. He took a nervous gulp before looking over Troy.
“Do I just… roll down?” He asked.
“Yeah!” Troy said, shoving him.
Before Jesse could even blink, the cabinet started rolling. He yelped out and desperately grabbed onto the sides of the cabinet, trying to stay on. He felt the strong wind in his dark curls, the warm autumn air whipping around him violently. His eyes were squeezed shut as the cabinet continued to roll down the hill.
He did not open his eyes until he was sure the cabinet had stopped moving. He loosened his grip on the cabinet as he allowed himself to take a few deep breaths. The other boys cheered as Jesse climbed off of the file cabinet. Lake ran up to him, a furious expression on their face.
"Lake? I thought you went home?" Jesse said.
“I was going home until I saw Troy push you down that hill! You could’ve gotten hurt,” Lake scowled. “Come on, we’re getting Nate and going home.”
Lake grabbed his arm to pull him away, but Jesse remained still.
“Lake, I’m fine. The guys and I are just having fun.”
They let out an aggravated sigh. “You call that having fun? Jesse, you were going down that hill on a goddamn file cabinet! It was stupid and dangerous.”
“Lake, you worry too mu–”
The sound of the boys cheering “Man Test!” over and over interrupted their argument. The two of them looked at the top of the hill to find Nate on top of the file cabinet. Some of the other boys had already gone down the hill and were cheering him on.
“Record it, Jesse!” a few of the boys said. Jesse scrambled to take out his phone and hit record.
Nate caught Jesse’s eye and waved shyly. Jesse could feel himself smile a little back at him. Nate turned to Troy.
“I dunno… if I do it, can I hang out with you?” he asked. The few times Jesse did hang out with Troy and his crew, Nate was usually at his own school or stuck at home.
“C’mon, be a man!” One of the boys called out from down below.
“Make him do it, Jesse!” Troy yelled, his eyes boring into Jesse’s.
“Yeah, it’s fine, just do it already!” Jesse said. “If you don’t do it, you can’t be a man!”
Nate’s smile returned half heartedly, and he said, “Ok…can we do it on the count of three? I just don’t wanna fall.”
“Yeah…” Troy said with an eye roll. Nate got himself settled on the cabinet and braced himself. “One…two-three!”
Troy shoved him rather roughly before Nate could register the counting. Nate cried out from the sudden shove, clinging on for dear life as he blazed down the hill. The cabinet hit a rock and launched Nate in the air before he landed in a dusty heap. The boys around him jeered and laughed, surrounding the young boy as he tried to get up. Nate’s shirt was torn and he clutched his arm. Jesse could see tears springing to his eyes.
“It really hurts…” Nate mumbled, tears starting to stream down his face. Troy laughed haughtily, strolling up to Nate.
“It really hurts,” he mocked, shoving Nate to the ground. “You failed! Jesse, tell him he failed.”
As if on command, Jesse found himself saying, “Nate, you failed the man test!”
The boys continued to laugh. Nate gave Jesse a wounded look.
“Jesse…” is all he said before he ran off in tears. Reality started to set in for Jesse, and guilt replaced the sense of joy he felt before.
“You better not tell mom!” Jesse called after him in a panic. Troy walked up to him with a grin.
“Did ya get all that? It was epic!” Troy said, taking the phone from him and flipping it so that they were on camera. His other arm found its way around Jesse’s shoulder once more. “Your brother beefed it!”
As Troy continued to laugh, Jesse mustered up a small grin. Jesse’s eyes flicked to Lake, but he quickly diverted his gaze when he noticed they were glaring at him.
Troy however, was not phased in the slightest.
“Why’re you so upset?” Troy taunted, looking at Lake. “It was funny. You worried that could’ve been you?”
“You and your goons are assholes,” Lake spat. Their eyes cut back to Jesse “And I can’t believe Jesse hangs around you people.”
“Ugh, I knew bringing you losers around was a bad idea,” Troy grumbled. “It’s not my fault the kid can’t take a joke.”
Lake scoffed and continued glaring at Jesse.
“He’s your brother, Jesse. And you just threw him under the bus for a laugh?”
“It’s…it’s not like that,” Jesse said weakly. “It…it was a joke.”
Troy’s grip on Jesse tightened slightly.
“Aww, you’re being such a baby,” Troy scoffed. “Why don’t you go running off to your mommy too if you’re so upset.”
“You hurt Nate! What’s wrong with you?”
“Oh piss off,” Troy retorted. “He just wasn’t strong enough to make it down that hill. It’s his own damn fault.”
Their eyes turned to Jesse. “And how can you be so calm? That’s your little brother, for christ’s sake!”
Jesse felt a pang of guilt hit his chest at Lake’s question, and he looked down to avoid their gaze.
Troy gave a mocking chuckle. “Not only can Jesse take a joke, unlike you, he also isn’t a huge crybaby.”
“I’m not talking to you,” Lake hissed. “Jesse, say something!”
Jesse felt Troy’s arm tighten around him as he was addressed, and he swallowed nervously before speaking up.
“It…it was a joke,” Jesse said, his voice a lot smaller than he expected. “I didn’t expect him to get hurt.”
“Well, now he is. Come on, we’ve gotta go after him.” Lake reached out for Jesse, but Troy blocked their path.
“He’s not going anywhere with you,” Troy said, staring Lake down as he towered over them.
There was a brief silence as Lake and Troy stared daggers at each other. Lake readied themself for a possible fight with fuming eyes and clenched fists. Troy’s other friends surrounded the three of them. Jesse looked between the two nervously and swallowed.
“Guys, knock it off,” he said, but the two of them ignored him and continued to stare each other down. Lake attempted to get past Troy once more, but he shoved them hard on the ground. This prompted Lake to bolt upright and land a punch on Troy’s jaw.
The boys who were surrounding them let out a mixture of “oooohs” and “ohhhs” upon hearing the punch land. Jesse could do nothing but let out an almost silent gasp.
Troy stumbled back for a moment, his hand going up to clutch his jaw. He stood up, starting to stalk towards Lake. But before he could raise his hand, the shrill sound of a whistle pierced the air.
“Alright, that’s enough now,” came the gruff voice of a police officer. “Break it up and go home. If I catch any of you out here fighting again, I’ll have you thrown in jail. I don’t care how old you are!”
The other boys all quickly scurried off, giving each other nervous yet amused looks. Jesse could feel himself shaking a little.
Troy continued glaring, pointing an accusatory finger at Lake. “Why aren’t you arresting that freak?” he growled. “I’m the one that got hurt.”
“You look fine,” the officer said dismissively. “Now get outta here. All of you.”
Troy huffed in frustration, taking a step back. He gave one final glare at Lake before he walked away. He shoulder-checked Jesse hard as he passed by.
Jesse stumbled back a bit from the force, and his eyes lingered to watch Troy disappear into the woods with his guys. Once he was out of sight, he turned around.
“Lake?” He asked meekly. Lake wordlessly turned in the direction Nate had run off.
“I’m fine,” Lake grumbled as they stood up. They dusted themselves off and looked up at Jesse with an irritated expression. “What the hell was that? Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“Everything happened so fast,” Jesse mumbled. “Why’d you punch him? That only made things worse!”
“And you’re any better?” Lake retorted. “All you cared about was making sure you didn’t piss your ‘friends’ off. You didn’t even care that Nate was hurt!”
“I do care! It’s just complicated!” Jesse shot back. Lake just stared at him in disbelief, shaking their head.
“I’m gonna go find Nate,” they said, walking off.
Jesse’s eyes lingered out in the direction where his little brother had run off, and they softened as the full gravity of what he’d done had started to set in.
The next few weeks were miserable for Jesse. To his surprise, Nate had told his parents that he’d fallen out of a tree. He could not comprehend why Nate decided to cover for him. Nevertheless, he could not bring himself to face Nate after what had happened. Jesse tried not to think about it too much, but the guilt still lingered in his mind for weeks on end.
He did his best to keep up a smile, and most people didn’t question it. But Lake knew something was off. They were never subtle with the looks of disappointment they gave him.
He continued to avoid Lake at school, not talking to them in their classes and asking to join a different group during track practice. Even though he was actively avoiding Lake, they remained persistent. He could see them staring at him in class, tracking his every move during lunch, and making attempts to talk to him during track practice.
It was even worse when it came to Troy and his goons. As if Jesse did not already have guilt weighing him down, Troy and his friends became relentless in their “friendly teasing.” Whenever one of them gave him a snide look or “accidentally” bump into him, he’d smile and wave no matter how much it was killing his soul inside.
It was all too much. Between having to avoid his brother, Lake’s persistent staring, and Troy and his friends harassing him, Jesse’s anxiety and guilt was at its peak. It was only a matter of time before everything came crashing down.
Things came to a head at track practice. Jesse sat on the bleachers, waiting for the coach to show up. His teammates around him were talking about an upcoming field trip that the freshmen would be attending on Monday.
The coach eventually arrived, walking and talking side by side with Ryan. The coach called everyone to attention, made some announcements, then sent everyone off into their respective groups. Ryan fell into step with Jesse as he made his way over to his group.
“Hey, not that it’s any of my business or anything,” he started, putting his arms over his head. “But I haven’t seen you and Lake hanging around each other in a while. Everything ok?”
“It’s nothing,” Jesse answered. “Lake and I just…need some space from each other.”
“Really? Because it seems like Lake has been trying to talk to you. And you’re the one avoiding them.”
“I’ve just…” Jesse trailed off, looking at his sneakers.
“We’ll talk more after practice then,” Ryan said, looking at the coach. “For right now, let’s get our warmups out of the way.”
When track practice ended, Jesse took off without even changing out of his track uniform. He had made his way to the parking lot of the school.
Jesse looked behind himself and cursed under his breath, finding himself surrounded.
“Troy, I don’t have time for this right now,” Jesse grumbled, trying to move out of the circle of boys that slowly drew closer. “I didn’t tell my parents about what happened, and neither did Nate. Just let me go home and we can forget this all happened.”
“Come on, Jess, you don’t honestly think we’re still on about that, do ya?” Troy said, his smirk growing wider by the second. “We just wanted to talk with you for a bit. You’ve been acting weird for weeks.”
“I… I gotta get home, my mom’s gonna wonder where I am,” Jesse mumbled. No matter where Jesse moved, Troy continued to block his path.
“Look at mama’s boy over here,” one of the boys jeered, eliciting a smattering of laughter. Troy led Jesse out of the parking lot and into the nearby woods. Jesse found himself looking back multiple times, his irritation slowly morphing into fear.
He and the boys traveled for a short distance before they reached a more secluded spot near the woods. Once far enough off the beaten path, Troy finally stopped walking. Jesse took a few steps back, his shoulders tensed. Troy turned to him.
“Here’s the thing,” he said slowly. “We’re sick and tired of you hanging out with that loser you’re always attached to.”
Jesse opened his mouth to defend his friend, but Troy cut him off with a glare.
“Don’t try to play dumb. We’ve seen you two together all the time. You’ve been hanging out with ‘em outside of school, haven’t you?”
“We haven’t really talked in a while,” Jesse admitted.
“Why’s that?” Troy pushed, taking a step closer to Jesse.
“You… you were kind of a jerk to them.”
“Freaks like that had it coming,” Troy said dismissively. “You aren’t a freak yourself, are you, Jesse?”
Troy took another step closer to Jesse. In turn, he took a step backwards, bumping up against a tree.
“What did Lake ever do to you guys?” Jesse asked. “...Aside from punching you in the jaw.”
Troy’s hand went up to rub the spot where Lake punched him, the memory of the fight evident on his face.
“Answer the question, Jesse.”
Jesse opened his mouth to respond, but a lump formed in his throat. He was silent for a moment, his mind racing as he thought of something to say.
“I… I…”
The faint sound of a chain rustling broke their gaze away from Jesse. A murmur broke out among the boys, some of them turning around.
“Casper!” Someone yelled out. “Casper, come back!”
Loud, vicious barking soon followed, sending a chill through Jesse’s spine. The other boys seemed freaked out about it as well. The noise got loud enough that a few of them broke off into a run. Troy and the others soon followed suit.
“Let’s get the hell out of here,” Troy grumbled.
Jesse tried to follow them, but he felt something hook under his legs and he hit the ground hard.
He grunted as he hit the leaf ridden ground, his palms scraping against loose rocks.
Troy and the others continued to run off without him, laughing mockingly at the teen on the ground.
Jesse felt helplessness wash over him. He sat there on the ground for a moment like a wounded puppy, before he shakily got up. He tried to call out to Troy and the others, but his voice was raspy and he got no response.
In the back of his mind, he still heard the vicious barking and rustling of the chain, slowly getting closer. He closed his eyes tight and braced for impact. Then the rustling and barking suddenly stopped.
Jesse’s eyes slowly fluttered open, and he was greeted with the sight of Ryan looking down at him, a chain in his hand. Jesse just sat there for a moment, blinking at Ryan as if he was a mirage.
When he finally found his voice again, he said, “Ryan, what the hell?”
Ryan reached his unoccupied hand out to Jesse instead of responding to his outburst.
“I’ll take you home, bud,” he said.
Jesse stumbled as he was pulled to his feet, still somewhat dazed from both being knocked to the ground and seeing Ryan of all people showing up to save him. He tried to form words, but his brain was mush right now. So he just followed behind Ryan as he headed further into the woods.
“What… what are you doing here?” Jesse managed to get out. “And what was that barking noise?”
“I saw you run off after practice, so I wanted to check in on you. Then I saw you getting ganged up on by those guys. As for your second question…” Ryan gave Jesse a wry smirk as he started barking. “I have a pretty good impression of a dog. Coach says I’m not allowed to use it to scare the teammates into running faster.”
For a moment, Jesse’s mind went blank. Then, something clicked and he let out a snort of hysterical laughter from the absurdity of what had just happened.
“So you just happened to have some chains on you on the off chance you’d want to scare off my friends?”
Ryan gave him a weird look. “Those were your friends?” he asked. “They looked like they were threatening you.”
Jesse’s smile dimmed, and he went back to looking at the ground as they walked.
“It’s…complicated.” Jesse said.
Ryan hummed in response, glancing over at him with concern. He took the moment to slow down his walking pace to match Jesse’s, who was struggling a bit to keep up.
“C’mon, my van’s up ahead,” he said. “We can talk more there.”
The adrenaline from the afternoon’s activities had worn off, and Jesse was too exhausted and tired to think about questioning Ryan’s actions. He slowly trudged through the woods, focusing on following Ryan’s lead.
“Yeah, that sounds…that sounds good…” he mumbled weakly. The pair continued through the woods, eventually returning to the parking lot. He climbed into the front seat and buckled himself in. He leaned back, rested his head against the seat and closed his eyes for a moment.
The car ride was silent at first. Jesse held his hands tightly in his lap, refusing to look at Ryan. As the time droned on, he grew more restless and uncomfortable. He was itching to say something, anything to break the silence. Eventually he opened his eyes and looked up at Ryan. Ryan opened his mouth to speak first.
“So–”
“I lied about having a girlfriend,” Jesse blurted out. Ryan wordlessly blinked a few times. Then he gave Jesse a half smile.
“I kinda figured you were lying about that,” he said. “But I’m pretty sure that’s not really what you wanted to tell me.”
“Well, thanks for saving me back there…and stuff,” he mumbled, his voice soft and raspy from the adrenaline.
“No problem…” Ryan said quietly. “So…about those guys in the woods…”
Jesse was quiet for a moment, contemplating what to say. He let out a long sigh before speaking again.
“They…they don’t like me hanging out with Lake…” he mumbled finally.
“Lake’s really cool. Those guys don’t know what they’re talking about,” Ryan scoffed. “Plus from what I could hear, it doesn’t seem like they respect Lake as a person.”
“Trust me, I know,” Jesse said, frowning.
“Then why do you hang out with those guys?”
Jesse opened his mouth to answer, but the words died in his throat.
“I figured they’d eventually come around to Lake and we could all hang out together. Then I’d stop feeling like I’m being pulled between two groups.”
“But in the end it just made them continue being jerks to Lake,” Ryan said, not taking his eyes off of the road. “And I think that really hurt Lake.”
“I know,” Jesse sighed. “I’ve been avoiding them for weeks.”
“You should talk to them when you get the chance,” Ryan said. “I’d hate for you to lose an important friendship over some jerks.”
Jesse looked out the window, watching as the scenery passed by.
“…I thought I could help them too, you know?” The admission slipped out before he realized what he said. He sat there with a look of surprise on his face, as if he hadn’t meant to say that.
“Help them with what?”
“I dunno,” Jesse mumbled after a pause. “You know, just like…make them not be so… aggressive all the time and stuff? I tried offering to show them how to make rock bracelets once, but it didn’t seem like Troy was particularly interested in that. He made a weird face about it.”
Jesse could feel himself blushing, starting to realize just how stupid his words sounded, and how badly the idea had executed. He sighed and glanced over at Ryan, awaiting his reaction.
Ryan seemed to be processing what Jesse had said before looking over at him. He was a bit taken aback, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible.
“Jesse…you can’t ‘fix’ people by just being nice to them.”
Jesse couldn’t help but feel a bit irritated by Ryan’s words. “I know that!” he snapped, suddenly feeling defensive. "I know it’s stupid, okay? I know I can’t ‘fix’ people by just being nice and making rock bracelets.”
“I didn’t say you were stupid…” Ryan said, his voice unusually vulnerable.
"If you knew what even caused this whole...mess you'd think differently."
“Try me.”
Another moment of silence fell over the car. Jesse's mind went back to the events that led up to Troy's gang cornering him. He felt another pang of guilt in his gut as he remembered what had happened with his little brother.
Jesse was quiet for a moment before he finally spoke up again.
“You…you promise you won’t judge me if I tell you?”
Jesse examined Ryan’s eyes, which were firmly fixed on the road.
“Go for it.”
“…Okay,” he said quietly. He took a deep breath before speaking again. “You know my little brother Nate… right?”
“You’ve talked about him a few times, yes,” Ryan said. “How’s he doing?”
Jesse continued to fidget in his seat. He sighed before he continued.
“That’s…not important. It’s more about what I’ve done to him,” he mumbled.
“Go on…”
“It was a couple of weeks ago. I was hanging out with Lake and Nate at the park when Troy and my friends bumped into us. He got us to follow him to some hill where he wanted us to do some stupid ‘man test’ that involved riding down the hill on a file cabinet. Troy pushed Nate down the hill and he got hurt…”
Jesse could already feel his throat constrict with guilt as he recounted the event.
“I don’t get it,” Ryan said after a pause. “Troy was the one who pushed Nate down the hill. How’s that your fault?”
“Because…I told Nate he couldn’t be a man if he didn’t go down the hill. I was the one who pressured him to do the stunt. I could’ve said no, but I didn’t…I didn’t mean for him to get hurt.”
His voice broke at the last sentence, tears starting to well up in his eyes. Another moment of silence. The only sounds Jesse could hear was the soft hum of the van, his heart beating loudly and his quiet, shallow breaths.
“Jesse…?”
Ryan’s voice was soft and gentle. Jesse had failed to be inconspicuous. The car halted to a stop as Ryan pulled over, turning to look over at the now crying teen.
“Hey, hey, woah, Jesse, it’s okay…” Ryan said gently, as if he could tell how badly Jesse was beating himself up over this.
Slowly, Ryan reached over and tried to guide one of Jesse’s hands away from his face, wanting to get him to look at him.
“Have you spoken to Nate after this happened?” he asked.
Jesse sniffled and tried to rub the last of tears away. He shook his head. “No, I haven’t,” he mumbled. “I don't think he'd want to talk to me…”
“You know,” Ryan said. “I bet despite everything, Nate really misses his big brother.”
“You really think so?” Jesse sniffled. Ryan nodded.
“Mm-hm, and I’m sure he’d really like to hear an apology from you more than anything,” he continued.
Jesse couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt at Ryan’s words. He had wanted to apologize to Nate for so long, but he kept putting it off, both out of shame and fear of Nate’s reaction.
He let out another shaky breath and tried to hold back more tears. He nodded, unable to speak at first.
“Just…how do I even start to apologize for what I did?” he finally said in a soft voice.
Ryan noticed Jesse’s vulnerability and leaned in a little closer to him. He spoke in a sympathetic tone, trying to reassure him.
"Just tell him what you told me. Tell him you messed up, that you didn’t mean to put him in danger. That you love him, and you’re sorry."
Jesse listened intently to Ryan's words, feeling a strong mix of guilt and determination.
“I… yeah, you're right,” he said, trying to steel himself with some confidence. He took another deep breath before he spoke again. “I need to apologize to him. I-I can’t keep avoiding him like this.”
As Jesse spoke, Ryan slowly reached over again, placing a hand over both of Jesse’s tightly clenched fists.
The touch of Ryan’s calloused hand was surprisingly soothing, helping calm Jesse’s rapidly beating heart. Jesse glanced down at their hands, then up at Ryan. There was a look of understanding in the older teen’s eyes.
“It’s gonna be ok, Jesse,” Ryan assured him, squeezing his hands. Jesse’s cell phone buzzed and he briefly broke away from Ryan’s grasp to check on it. His mother had sent him a message saying that Nate would be away at a sleepover for the weekend.
“I won’t see Nate until after the trip on Monday,” Jesse said, a pang of disappointment in his heart.
“On the bright side, you’ve got more time to think about what you’re gonna say to him,” Ryan assured him.
“I guess you’re right…” Jesse sighed, looking out the window. But he knew that his friend was right; he did need more time to plan out the perfect apology.
Ryan seemed to observe Jesse's disappointment for a moment. Then, he gave a slight smirk.
"Hey, you know...I think I know what'll cheer you up," he said, his tone lighter.
“What?” Jesse asked.
“Guess who’s gonna be a chaperone on your trip?” he asked, gesturing exaggeratedly to himself.
“What? No way!”
“It’s a new thing the school’s got us doing as a graduation requirement. We’ve gotta help out the freshman,” he said, reaching out and ruffling Jesse’s hair. “That means you, bud.”
Jesse let out a small squawk of surprise as Ryan reached over and messed up his hair.
“Hey, watch the hair!” he protested, swatting at Ryan’s hand half-mockingly.
Ryan chuckled and pulled his hand away, giving Jesse a playful nudge. "Oh come on, you know you love it," he teased, grinning at the indignant look on Jesse's face.
Despite his protests, Jesse couldn’t help but crack a smile. Ryan’s words and the way he was messing with him were actually lifting his spirits a little. He suddenly felt a little more okay with not being able to immediately apologize to Nate.
“That… actually made me feel a lot better…thanks, Ryan,” Jesse said softly.
“There’s that smile I was looking for,” Ryan chuckled as he pulled his hand back, fixing his own hair nonchalantly.
Jesse rolled his eyes a little, but he couldn’t deny that Ryan’s teasing was helping. He leaned back against the car seat with a small sigh as they continued the drive home.